Elder Care in Apex NC

As your elderly loved one needs more and more assistance, you might find that he’s less and less cooperative. This might not make sense until you start to look at it from his point of view. The more you do for him, the less he feels able to do on his own.

Your Loved One Has Run His Own Life for a While

Now that your loved one is in need of extra help and extra care, it can be tough to remember that he used to run his own life quite well on his own. He doesn’t have any problem remembering that at all, though, and he’s not ready to give all that control up just yet. Your loved one may very well need additional advice, whether that’s from you or from his elder care providers, but he’s not able to choose when he gets that help and advice now. That can be a little bit rankling, which might cause him to act out in ways that to you are uncooperative. To him, however, he’s simply asserting his own independence.

Losing Independence Hurts

If you can remember back to being a kid and wanting so badly to do the things that older siblings and older friends could do, that’s a little bit of what your loved one is experiencing, but in reverse. Your loved one desperately wants to know that he still has some of his independence, even if that’s shrinking a little more every year. Your loved one may not be able to express to you how he’s feeling emotionally, which is another reason that he may be acting out a bit.

What You Can Do

The biggest way that you can help your loved one to understand that he doesn’t have to fight for his independence is to make sure that you give him a choice as often as you can. Certainly this is easier in some situations than others, but try to stand back a little more. You may also want to talk to your loved one and let him know that you’re willing to allow him to ask for help more often rather than simply jumping in and doing things for him. This can help him to realize that he has independence where he wants it but he has help when he needs it.

This is a time of juggling and learning for both you and your elderly loved one, so it helps to be as patient as you can.